Ask Dr. Hilda

Question: I got separated 9 months ago, I knew for three years this was going to happen, three months ago my divorce was final; I felt alive, secure, myself in few words I am happy I am out of my marriage; I knew the process and did not think on dating anytime soon.

I went to a party a month ago, as soon as arrived to the party I was introduced to a good looking man, we made eye contact with sparks and everything else involved we were attracted to each other instantly, the whole place was filled with magic.

Since I was not prepared for that and I am not used to something like this happening to me, I tried the whole night to avoid eye contact, he followed me with his eyes every place I went. I had to leave early that night, we were not able to talk, and we did not share information. The next weekend I had a reunion in my house, I did not invited him but I invited some of his friends. I was totally in shock when I opened the door and he was there smiling; we were very happy to see each other.

He found a moment to talk to me and he told me that he was getting divorced, but none of my friends knew about it. He has been married for 16 years, they do not have kids, his wife is 4 years younger than us. I could not believe what I just found out. If I knew before that he was married and was getting divorced, I would never pay attention to him at all.

It's been 6 weeks since last time I saw him, we never shared information, I just found out that he left his wife and told everybody he is getting a divorce. I am confused. This is not the way I would like to start a relationship. I do not even think he is ready to start a new relationship.

I think we met at the wrong time, what should I do when he looks for me again? Should I wait? I really like him.

Answer: Run for the hills! You just ended a marriage. This man may or may not be ending his marriage. Until you see the divorce decree, you can never be sure. He flirted with you while he was still married and living with his wife. He didnít mention at the time that he was married. Then he mysteriously showed up at your house, and now says that he has left his wife. Forgive me, but something stinks! You need time to be alone and rediscover who you are and what you really want out of life. If he comes looking for you, tell him to go away until he is divorced and you have had time to heal and discover the woman that you truly are. --Dr. Hilda



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