Ask Dr. Hilda

Question: I masturbate maybe 1 to 4 times a week. When my man and I have sex, it takes me a long, long, long time to climax. Most of time he hangs in there during oral until I do climax, but he is exhausted afterwards and I feel bad. I wonder if masturbating is taking away from me having a climax with my man. Please assist me and tell me what I can take or do to climax quicker. Appreciate all you do.

Answer: Masturbation is good for you. Masturbation helps women learn how to achieve orgasm, and makes it easier to have them again and again. Most women do not achieve orgasm through intercourse alone, so if you are having them at all—even if it takes a long time—congratulations. It makes sense that it would take you longer to reach orgasm during sex. When you masturbate, you can make sure that your most sensitive areas are stimulated in just the way that you like them to be stimulated. When you are with a partner, he may not always hit the right spot in just the right way. And plus you have the distractions of another individual. When you masturbate, you can be selfish and focus only on your own pleasure. Think about it: while you are worried about how tired he may be becoming, your mind is not on your own pleasure so, of course, it takes much longer. My advice is to continue to masturbate. And when you have sex, stop worrying about the length of time it is taking to climax. Focus on the pleasure that you are receiving and the orgasm will quickly follow. --Dr. Hilda



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