Ask Dr. Hilda

Question: I'm not sure how to start this, but here goes. I was married for 32 years and never had a orgasm or never had a climax. I did stay with my husband but did not like sex. I think it might have been me. I would appreciate it if you could tell me if there is anything I can take or if there is a device that can help. I am now seeing a wonderful guy and I want to be satisfied sexually and want to satisfy him. Please give me advice and tell me what I can do.

Answer: I can't tell you how many times I get a question similar to this. You are not alone. And you don't have to spend the rest of your life being dissatisfied with your sex life. The key to orgasm is this: you MUST learn how to bring yourself to orgasm. That's right, you are responsible for your own orgasms. A man can't wrap it up in a nice blue box and hand it to you. Begin by spending time alone exploring your body and finding your erogenous zones. It might help to take a warm bubble bath, complete with scented candles. While you are still moist, rub a body cream or oil all over your body. Focus on the areas that are most sensitive and give you pleasure. The massage yourself with a personal lubricant in your most sensitive area……..Relax and focus only on pleasurable sensation, not the goal of orgasm. In time you will begin to have orgasms. Sometimes adding a vibrator to your self-exploration helps. Then once you discover how to give yourself pleasure, share your new knowledge with your partner. Expect him to listen and follow your lead. For tips on how to satisfy him, read my latest book, PLEASURE. --Dr. Hilda



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