Hi Dr. Hilda,
Interesting…my hubby of 19 years has no history of cheating, but flirting is another matter (especially via the Internet). We’ve had the discussion about his activities many times, but he keeps returning to it in some form or another. Each time, he de-escalates the contact, but it’s still a cause for concern for me. My parents had a long and mostly happy marriage until my Dad passed away. My mom never indulged in another relationship even after he was gone. Cheating is not in my relationship “genes” so to speak. My hubby’s parents were married, but not really happy. Most of his siblings have gotten divorced at least once, and divorce is all over the rest of his family tree (including grandparents). We talked about it and he thinks this is partly the reason he feels an sense of uncertainty about OUR relationship lasting - he has no really good role models in that area in his family.
I say we CHOOSE what will happen - genes can contribute, but they are not a certainty. Just found your blog - will be at your appearance at Yale University next week - looking forward to meeting you!